I want to ease my heart remembering the beginning of my life.

I am a daughter of a Spanish emigrated to Chile and a Chilean mother, from this marriage I was born. I was born on March 10, 1930.

The memory of my childhood is not of the best. When I was still a child my father died in an accident. Before dying my father asked my mother to put me in a college kept by religious Sisters. She complied with this request and this was the beginning of my life.

At the age of seven, I already started to understand and accept the hardness and austerity of that place. Years went by... years that for me never ended.

My mother's sister took care of me, When I was sixteen years old, she started to fetch me and bring me to her house for the week-end; on Sunday afternoon she brought me back to the college.

In the following years some hope and faith began to grow in my heart. Those were never easy years, everything was different and life was full of taboo.

In the middle of this existence I met a handsome young man, a friend and companion of my aunt's son and it was so that my life began to have a meaning.

Since my aunt had a nursing clinic, she took me out of college and brought me to live with her; she taught me this job and I began to work for her.

Fortunately my aunt approved of the friendship I had with that young man also because he was one of my cousin's friends, and more, he was an excellent person, responsible both in his job and in his studies.

That is how my first great love started, our friendship and love came true also with my aunt consent.

Time went by very fast and the day of our marriage arrived, which was celebrated on January 20, 1954, crowning our great love and dreams of a happy family.

With our life full of love and so much hope for the future our children began to be born. At that time it was nice to have a numerous family and there was no method to avoid having children A very gracious saying quoted that "every child born, was born with bread under his arm".

We had seven children, two boys and five girls. Our dream to have a numerous family was granted. As our children grew and began their studies we made projects for them.

Then our love, the affection for the family, all our plans and dreams were broken off on that terrible day September 11, 1973.

How to explain what happened that day?

All my pains and bitterness, the biggest sufferings that a man or women can endure began at once. Only the Lord's mercy gave me the necessary strength to continue to live after my husband's death at only 45 years of age. He died owing to the tortures suffered from the military dictatorship of general Pinochet.

As if that wasn't enough, a year later my husband's death, they murdered my 17 year old son Patricio. He was studying at High School 9 in Villa Frei, a place where we owned our home. Patricio died on 23 March.

Due to this persecution, the only thing I could do to protect my life and that of my children, was to emigrate to Europe. Thanks to God I had the support of the humanitarian organization of the Catholic Church which took care of us.

Many families were exterminated by this dictator with many children included; so many were the atrocities there are no words to describe them.

So we arrived in Switzerland as political refugees. How could I express myself in a foreigner land? I felt I was in a desert. I was always thinking of what I had lost: my country, my home, everything; my husband and my son murdered.

There were moments I didn't have the strength to continue to live. But God never abandoned me and always put on my way brotherly and friendly people. One of them was pastor Guido Rivoir who supported my daughters in their studies.

It wasn't easy to integrate at once and the first years were difficult especially for me.

And so the years went by in my new country and the Lord never abandoned me and He never would. He gave me the strength to go on with my family.

Today, after twenty years of suffering, I am serene and calm in my mew land that the destiny gave me and I thank the Lord for this blessing. I am briefly going to describe how my children's life developed.

They went on ending their studies with good results obtaining their School certificate: two of them master five languages, orally and written. This has been a great satisfaction for me. Other years went by. They married and built their own families. Three of them had children. I have five precious grandchildren, four boys and one girl. Today they are grown-up are studying well.

There are moments I analyze how my family has grown and the chance I had to be able to help bringing up my two eldest grandchildren, Rigoberto's sons.

I took great care of them in their childhood. They are adult and independent and I love them very much, what a pity I hardly see them.

All of one wishes can't all come true, life is so and we have to accept it.

Thanks to God who gives me the strength to continue, to think about my grandchildren with lot of love, especially the ones who give me much love and affection. These are my youngest daughter's sons. One is 15 years old, the other 14. I wasn't near them when they were little but now they are the ones who give me much happiness. I thank God for this affection I am receiving.

My granddaughter, my second daughter's child, is 17 years old and I see her rarely too. But I love her equally. We must accept lifes circumstances. Nothing is perfect.

If I decided to do a short report my life is because I want you to know whit complete sincerity the reality of the life I am living. No matter what I went through I have such a serenity and endless peace that I thank God gor this inner calm.

There are moments when I analyze my past life that I feel as if it has only been a dream. This is the resignation I can obtain thanks to the help of the Lord. I see my family and I am happy to have been able to accomplish my duties with dignity.

I do hope the Lord will allow me good health and a few more years of life to benefit of all the blessings he gave me.

I could have written more anecdotes but I don't consider them indispensable. I thought to be brief and precise about the reality of my life, and I am sure it will be a precious memory to my children and my grandchildren.

Lugano, 21th of April 2000

Yrma Alvarez